Saturday, June 28, 2008

Yes, I Wish That For Just One Time

...You could stand inside my shoes/You'd know what a drag it is/To see you
(from "Positively 4th Street," Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits)

Dear Cardinal fans at the K on Saturday night,

You suck. You young ladies with the T-shirts calling the Royals "the best AAA team in the major leagues"--you suck. You drunken yahoos starting a "Let's Go Cardinals" chant during the Royals Hall of Fame ceremony--you suck. You stupid little kid hitting me in the head with the giveaway noisemaker and then banging two of them together right behind my right ear--your parents suck. You brainiac telling your kid the "AL has a designated hitter because they're afraid to let the pitchers hit"--you suck, and your manager apparently sucks too, since there's no rule requiring him to use a DH, so he could have had his pitcher hit all night. You fatass sitting on the stairs in your Pooh Holes jersey and blocking the way and then taunting my wife because your team just scored a run off Kyle Davies (whoo-hoo!)--you really suck.

Thanks for spending so much money here, though. And congrats on finally beating this team that you think is so inferior to yours. That makes you 1-4 against the best AAA team in the majors. Perhaps that means you are the best AA team in the majors.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yeah! That asshole on the steps almost took an elbow in his ear! I should have "tripped" & hit him - guess I'm just too nice! Cardinals fans act much nicer in St. Louis, even when we display Royals colors - the ones there tonight must have all been from Columbia!